SERVICES
What purpose does a Funeral or Memorial Service serve?
It's important to recognize that funerals and memorial (without the body present) ceremonies are for the living ... for those who are affected by the loss of a loved one. It is through the funeral process that a number of emotional needs are met for those who grieve.
A funeral is similar to other ceremonies in our lives. Like a graduation ceremony, a wedding, a baptism, and a bar mitzvah, a funeral is a rite of passage by which we recognize an important event that distinguishes our lives.
The funeral declares that a death has occurred. It celebrates the life that has been lived, and offers family and friends the opportunity to pay tribute to their loved one.
The gathering of family and friends for a time of sharing and funeral service helps to provide emotional support so needed at this time. This will help those who grieve to face the reality of death and consequently, to take the first step toward a healthy emotional adjustment. Although an immediate burial or cremation without any form of gathering is an option, it may overlook the survivors' need for closure.
Services can and do take on many varied forms. They can last from minutes to months and are usually influenced by the lifestyle and values of the bereaved family and friends. A valuable aspect of contemporary funerals is their individuality. Whether a ceremony is elaborate or simple, funerals are often individualized to reflect the life of the deceased and to hold special meaning for family and other survivors. They may reflect one's religious beliefs as a reaffirmation of faith in a greater life beyond this world and/or they may reflect the occupation or hobbies of the deceased. They may also center on an ethnic background or social affiliation.
Is a funeral or memorial service always held in a funeral home or place of worship?
A service can usually be held at any location that the family feels would be comfortable and appropriate. Your funeral director can assist with arranging a meaningful service.
How can I personalize a funeral service?
Many families choose to personalize by displaying photographs and personal effects(items representing the hobbies or interests of the deceased)at the service. Others use video tributes or the sharing of stories. Special music, especially for a lover of music, can be extra meaningful. Honoring those who served in the military of other service/fraternal organizations demonstrates the things they held dear. Merchandise selections can be made that also show pictures or point to the interests and hobbies of your loved one. One of the most memorable options is a symbolic release of white doves or balloons. Ideas of your own may be even more special and unique to your loved one. Don't feel limited by perceived "society norms". If it is meaningful to you, it is appropriate.
Is it okay to have a viewing and not a service?
Yes, if that is the wish of the family, the funeral director will arrange designated times for calling hours, have the times published in the newspaper and simply add to the obituary that services will be private.
Why is having a place to visit so important?
It provides a focal point for memorializing the deceased. To remember, and to be remembered, are natural human needs. Throughout history, memorialization of the dead has been a key component of almost every culture. The Washington Monument, Tomb of the Unknowns and Vietnam Wall in Washington, D.C., are examples of memorialization which demonstrate that, throughout our history, we have always honored our dead. Psychologists say that remembrance practices, from the funeral or memorial service to permanent memorialization, serve an important emotional function for survivors by helping to bring closure and allowing the healing process to begin.
Does a body have to be embalmed before it is buried or cremated?
No, embalming is not required for burial. It is your choice. It may depend on such factors as whether the family has selected a public viewing with an open casket; or to enhance the deceased's appearance for a private family viewing. If the body is going to be transported out of state, some states require embalming or a special sealed container.